That Drifting Poo Was Far Too Meaningful! These Are the TV Disappointments of the Year.

As we consider the TV offerings of the recent year, a handful of shows stand out not for their excellence, but for their spectacular failures. Ranging from awkward spin-offs to confusingly poor documentaries, here are the productions that had us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

Where to begin with this divisive spin-off? Burdened with dreadful writing, cringe-inducing character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series fought to justify its existence. For a moment, as the third season began, it seemed as if it had at last hit its stride. Then came an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the final season. It concluded on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was simply too on-the-nose. Still, viewers certainly found joy picking apart every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a little sob?

All’s Fair

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was practically the least of this drama's problems. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon no-star assessment, it was hard to know where to start enumerating the problems. The laughably wooden dialogue? The tedious glorification of wealth and materialism? The seemingly wilful procession of cliches? Performances so bad they felt almost malicious? Let’s just say “all of the above” and forget about this show again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Considering the legal troubles, domestic violence allegations and parental failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d truly have known it from this multi-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless excess while failing to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any sympathy this show might induce should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but flippant egotist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Naturally we understood it was preposterous from the outset: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of pure admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost.

The Gangster Drama

Dodgy characters meeting in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.

Actually, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to indulge unconvincing dialects. But there were plenty of other issues. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a dispute over narcotics territory between various London picaresques which felt a bit basic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Given the degree to which she grinds the gears of certain ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s temptingly easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into twee lifestyle as intentional provocations. But then you view them and are forced to concede that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue animated; a meme for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by vast, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are obviously fascinating things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, self-image, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this documentary series chose not to say them. Rather, the viewing was akin to reading a marketing brochure. She clearly has every right to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any favours with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Inheritance

It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality managing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As contestants competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up smelling of a production that was trying way too hard to live up to something far greater than it.

Too Much

How does one succeed a show that defined a generation? The pressure was immense for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of celebrity friends involved felt icky.

The Sketch Show Return

Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the smart inclusion of gifted younger comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke milked to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be treated with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lurching from strangely breezy, somewhat mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A total mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We love the star … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could ruin society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services targeting – and eliminating – intellectuals frankly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This uncritical portrait followed the content creator notorious for sexual escapades as she undertook her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was far greater examination of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who appeared to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific shots and zero critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.